Family

My mom stood at the microphone, in front of tables full of candles, sunflowers, and empty plates spotted by bar-b-que sauce, surrounded by people as I and my husband of a whole 30 minutes stood at the back of the room. She gave out some incredibly deserved thank-you's, then launched into a story. My brow furrowed as her monologue veered toward bride prices and selling daughters, and I cast wary glances at the faces around me, wondering where this all was going. Then her story came full circle with the declaration that "I'm not selling my daughter, I'm buying a son!"

In that moment, her words brought tears to my eyes and made me grin at the man holding my hand (the bought son in question).

In the weeks following that day, her pronouncement has morphed and expanded in my mind as I have realized more fully what being married to this man really means.

She bought a son, and I gained a family.

I am pulled in by twice as many arms that open up for a tight hug when they haven't seen me in a while.

I am congratulated by double the cheering squad when I complete my first shift as an independent nurse.

I am part of a new group text, through which I am included in planning family activities and get to share in each of our small daily victories.

In my kitchen sits a whole book of new recipes, each with stories and faces to go along with their rich flavors.

I have a quilt stitched together by hands full of care.

Traditions spanning decades are now widened to include me.

Scattered across the country, I have new people offering their homes and beds and kitchen tables in open invitations.

When people talk about marriage, they talk about the unique bond between two people, about living life with your best friend, about partnership and trust and love - and believe me, I have all that in greater measure than I could have imagined.

But the part that surprised me the most was gaining a family. In all the warmth and fullness of the word, with enthusiasm and impatience, not taking the place of but augmenting my own - I have gained a family.

A week ago, we hosted both sides of our family for Thanksgiving. After finishing our seam-popping meal of fondue, my mom ushered us out to go for a walk around the neighborhood - all of us, the two newlyweds, all four parents, both big sisters, and a boyfriend to boot. Joking and laughing, we felt more comfortable together than expected, given the short length of time since we had all first met. We meandered down the sidewalk in clumps, pointing out the first few houses that had already put up Christmas lights, while my eyes swam with tears and my heart felt ready to burst with sheer joy.

My marriage has doubled my family, and I am so grateful.