The topic of modesty tends to make my hackles go up. It has
been shoved in my face for years. It comes along with rules and measuring tapes
and disapproving looks. It has been the cause for shame, guilt, and fear of my
own body.
I would bet that many young women have experienced the same
feelings. We are trained from a young age that our bodies will cause men to sin
if we do not cover ourselves. We are told that we are stumbling blocks, and we
must hide away to protect our brothers.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am all for respecting yourself
and wearing appropriate clothing. I’m not advocating for skimpy dress. What I am
advocating for is accountability.
When we label young women as “stumbling blocks”, we are
putting the weight of the sin on their shoulders. We insinuate that their
hemline, neckline, or walk is solely responsible for any male’s response to it.
Not only is this degrading to women, by putting false
responsibility on our shoulders, but it is demeaning to men. It assumes that
men are incapable of controlling their thoughts, that they are victims of their
own nature, that they are helpless, at the mercy of women’s wardrobes.
I don’t know about you, but the men in my life deserve much
more credit than that. So why do we continue to heap shame on women and remove responsibility
from men? Yes, it is a continuing problem. Just this summer, the camp I work at
recommended that the female staff wear shorts over our swimsuits because we
don’t want to be a “distraction” to the male staff. Curiously enough, I heard
no mention of asking the male staff to wear shirts at the pool so as not to
distract us girls. Either my legs are insanely more
distracting than I thought, or there is some unequal distribution of blame
going on.
Why is it that women are expected to control their own
thoughts while we are also being told to cover up to protect the thoughts of men?
I am not a stumbling block. Your thoughts are not my
responsibility. I will respect my body, and I expect the same from you. Every
woman deserves this treatment – regardless of what she is wearing.
